Considering I broke up with my boyfriend of two years a month before I started university, two and a half years ago, people who meet me generally expect me to have a fun single life. And by “fun” I mean an active sexual/romantic life. It’s the part of the assumed student lifestyle, we’re all partying and having sex with little or no work being done. Then there’s me who works 18-40.5 hours a week, has one day of lectures and spends her life in the library (though lately, the library has eventually turned into the pub). So when I arranged my first ever date everyone was amazed to say the least- I don’t do dates, I don’t do attachment and since my university friends never saw me in a relationship, I don’t do commitment either.
The guy was a friend of a friend. We’d gotten together on Tuesday in a club, when the mutual friend basically pushed us together. We were both drunk, it wasn’t unusual, we swapped numbers and went to our seperate homes. End of.
He text me the next day asking about the night before and in all honesty, it was quite an awkward conversation so when he invited me out for today I was honestly dreading it. But wow were my friends excited at the prospect of me dating.
Note to self: it’s a bad idea to arrange a date for the afternoon after the Superbowl.
In the end I was up until 6am because silly me had downed a Red Bull at 1am. Then I had to work 5.5 hours and I was meeting him after that. No-one deserves to have to see me after two hours sleep, I am not a nice person, sarcastic and grouchy yes but in no way nice. Not great first date material. In the end, unfortunately half an hour before he was picking me up, I text him taking a rain check. It wasn’t until the next day I found out he’d slept with someone else that night and had cheated on his girlfriend, essentially he “slept with anything that moves”.
The whole thing brushed right by me, I hadn’t fallen for the guy so there wasn’t any emotion there to feel anything. My friend, on the other hand, flipped at him and was really protective! But it did make me realise something, or at least reclarify it. Dating at university is pretty hard. I mean, as I mentioned earlier, there’s already this stereotypical view that everyone’s up for sleeping around and partying all the time. Considering I met this guy in a club should have been the first indicator. I guess I sort of did suspect given that I wasn’t surprised at all when I found out.
I think I’d struggle being in a relationship at university. All my friends who are in “new” relationships are struggling with massive trust issues though many of them have had to deal with being cheated on unlike me. But then again, does it really change once we graduate? I know one friend, a serial cheater, who graduated and has seemed to completely settle down so maybe that’s the trend. I guess we’ll have to wait and see…