Dating: What’s that?

Considering I broke up with my boyfriend of two years a month before I started university, two and a half years ago, people who meet me generally expect me to have a fun single life. And by “fun” I mean an active sexual/romantic life. It’s the part of the assumed student lifestyle, we’re all partying and having sex with little or no work being done. Then there’s me who works 18-40.5 hours a week, has one day of lectures and spends her life in the library (though lately, the library has eventually turned into the pub). So when I arranged my first ever date everyone was amazed to say the least- I don’t do dates, I don’t do attachment and since my university friends never saw me in a relationship, I don’t do commitment either.

The guy was a friend of a friend. We’d gotten together on Tuesday in a club, when the mutual friend basically pushed us together. We were both drunk, it wasn’t unusual, we swapped numbers and went to our seperate homes. End of.

He text me the next day asking about the night before and in all honesty, it was quite an awkward conversation so when he invited me out for today I was honestly dreading it. But wow were my friends excited at the prospect of me dating.

Note to self: it’s a bad idea to arrange a date for the afternoon after the Superbowl.

In the end I was up until 6am because silly me had downed a Red Bull at 1am. Then I had to work 5.5 hours and I was meeting him after that. No-one deserves to have to see me after two hours sleep, I am not a nice person, sarcastic and grouchy yes but in no way nice. Not great first date material. In the end, unfortunately half an hour before he was picking me up, I text him taking a rain check. It wasn’t until the next day I found out he’d slept with someone else that night and had cheated on his girlfriend, essentially he “slept with anything that moves”.

The whole thing brushed right by me, I hadn’t fallen for the guy so there wasn’t any emotion there to feel anything. My friend, on the other hand, flipped at him and was really protective! But it did make me realise something, or at least reclarify it. Dating at university is pretty hard. I mean, as I mentioned earlier, there’s already this stereotypical view that everyone’s up for sleeping around and partying all the time. Considering I met this guy in a club should have been the first indicator. I guess I sort of did suspect given that I wasn’t surprised at all when I found out.

I think I’d struggle being in a relationship at university. All my friends who are in “new” relationships are struggling with massive trust issues though many of them have had to deal with being cheated on unlike me. But then again, does it really change once we graduate? I know one friend, a serial cheater, who graduated and has seemed to completely settle down so maybe that’s the trend. I guess we’ll have to wait and see…

Getting to grips with 2013

So as you might have noticed, the past couple of days have been pretty post-less. I did plan to blog, I even had the typical “reflection” post in my head but as per usual what is in my head doesn’t generally make it out. Well, unless it’s completely inappropriate. Admittedly the past two nights have been spent drinking, given that it was New Years Eve followed by a friend returning from the Christmas holidays. Today and yesterday have been spent getting my head together, trying to stay awake and not let the hangover ruin my life.

It’s self inflicted so asking for sympathy isn’t very likely.

But one thing I do think every dedicated blogger should do at the beginning of a new year is reflect on their past year. Now, I would usually have done this on New Years Eve and it would have been much more fun if I had been writing this blog for much longer than I have (and by “more fun” I mean “easier for me to remember”).

So let’s begin:

2012 has been a very up and down year for me. It began in Roper Hall with my two guys mates, Jordan and Colin. Tip: Don’t spend New Years Eve with two guys who are more like your younger brothers, it makes watching Big Ben chime midnight while sitting between those two on the sofa in the pub a little awkward. When a load of girls showed up from Jordan’s (and my old) workplace I decided that I should make my move. I remember the “two hour” wait for a taxi persuading me to wake the 20 minutes home in my skirt and vest top. Big mistake: that was how I ended up witnessing a hit and run, comforting a crying 50-year-old woman, nearly getting punched by a drunken man, being interviewed by the police, driven home by the police and asked out by another friend.

Carrying on with the romantic theme then, 2012 was my first one night stand. Considering it had been a year since I’d broken up with my ex of two years, I guess you could say it was about time. The first guy was the guy who’d asked me out on New Years Eve. He actually asked me out every time he went out drinking for the whole of January. But it wasn’t until March we finally slept together, watching PS I Love You, and he ignored me from then on. He actually apologised recently saying that he thought I’d have hurt him. Ironic. The next guy was Jordan, the guy I’d gone out with on New Years Eve. This was in September and we’d both been abandoned by our friends in a club and he suggested I sleep on his couch. Safe to say I didn’t, but we both quickly decided we were never meant to be more than friends. The next, and final, hook up is a course mate. Not that I’d ever spoken to him prior to him moving in with my closest friend and some how from that came about our whole “friends with benefits” situation.

So in the past year I’ve managed up my “number” from one guy I was in a relationship with to two one night stands and a long term, open relationship.

I guess it’s just a sign of how much things have changed… Time to get on with it then!